BREAKING UP IS HARD TO ZOOM

I have been dumped.

 

I thought I was long past the time in my life when I needed to fear a broken heart. When I had to wonder whether I was worthy of affection. But age, apparently, does not protect us from sorrow.

 

Which my husband and I found out last weekend when our Zoom partners broke up with us.

 

We should have known from the beginning that the relationship was not going to last. We were all sheltering in place. We were bored.  We were desperate for companionship. So I reached out, tentatively, to another couple.

 

"Hey, so, do you want to Zoom this Saturday night with Jeff and me?"

 

"Ohmigod, yes!" they said. Followed by, "What is a Zoom?"

 

But they were eager and willing to experiment, and they learned quickly. And at first, as with most relationships, it was good. It was very good. We chatted. We drank wine. We played endless rounds of Code Names and Heads Up. Yes, we were a virtual, G-rated version of that old movie, Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice. 

 

We stayed online for hours. But then the quarantine continued. Weeks became months. Code Names lost its allure. There was nothing more to talk about, and not enough wine to mask the boredom. Worse, we could see the telltale flicker of the television on our friends' slightly averted faces. And then came that terrible Friday. It began when I sent my usual text.

 

"We on for tomorrow night?"

 

No reply. I tried again.

 

"Did you get my first text? Are we on for tomorrow night?"

 

Again, nothing.

 

I became nervous. I had heard about ghosting, but never thought I'd experience it. Finally, I got desperate enough to make an actual phone call.

 

"Hey, it's me."

 

"Oh. Hi."

 

"Haven't heard from you. Are we Zooming tomorrow night?"

 

"Um. I don't think so."

 

"What? Why?"

 

"Well… We kind of made other plans."

 

"What do you mean, other plans?" 

And suddenly, I knew.

 

"Wait. You're CHEATING on us?? What did we do?"

 

"It's not you. It's us. We…we just need to Zoom other people."

 

"Why? I mean, if you need a change, we can change. I can find a new game! We can limit the amount of time we spend together! We won't bore you with pictures of the grandkids anymore!"

 

"It's not that…"

 

I tried to keep the desperation out of my voice. "No, I mean it! In fact, we'd be okay if you wanted to Zoom someone else on the side. Please, don't do this!"

 

"I'm sorry. We just need a little break."

 

I felt bitterness put down roots within  me. "And when did you plan to tell us?"

 

"I guess I just did."

 

So, here we are. Abandoned. Discarded. Left to pick up the shattered pieces of our self-worth. My husband and I have been trying to process this all week, and hopefully we'll be able to move on. But it may be a while before we can Zoom again.